10 Minute Oil Change

one cup too many...

2005-08-14T13:48:00.000-05:00

rainy sunday morning, and my hands are shaking from that mistakenly imbibed third cup of coffee....

i've experienced a bit of those spiritual doldrums lately. just kind of coasting from past experiences on the mountain waiting for the next. i listen to those same songs that in the past swell me up with joy but now just sound like hollow repetitions.

"just another day without you, just another never-ending night.
just another reason i'm falling away from you."

the wedding in canada was charged with emotion, much from me, much from others. all in all a positive experience. my brother's mother-in-law is sweet, nurturing, speaks beautiful french, and makes the best blackberry jam.

When I am afraid.....

2005-06-07T21:49:00.000-05:00

What is it that makes you afraid?

Hmm...
Perhaps the better questions is what types of things make you afraid? There were a few things I was afraid of today. I'm afraid I won't do my job well, or that I'll embarrass a customer or coworker. I was afraid on the drive home when a child ran out into the street chasing his basketball. I was afraid as I read the newspaper and saw fellow humans beings dying in car wrecks, bombings, landslides, tornadoes, and even scarier health problems.
People I know scoff at these things. In general, they scoff at life. Each day is a bigger joke than the one before. I laugh with them, of course. Maybe toss in a story or comment of my own. Then that silence that follows broods over us, a stagnant reminder that that at which we laugh, is not a joke at all.
David knew these things. He was afraid too. Read for yourself:

"Why are the nations so angry?
Why are the people making useless plans?" (Ps. 2:1)
"Lord, I have many enemies!
Many people have turned against me." (Ps. 3:1)
"Lord, listen to my words.
Understand my sadness." (Ps. 5:1)
"Lord, why are you so far away?
Why do you hide when there is trouble?" (Ps. 10:1)
"Save me, Lord, because the good people are all gone;
no true believers are left on earth." (Ps. 12:1)
"How long will you forget me, Lord? Forever?
How long will you hide from me?" (Ps. 13:1)
"My God, my God, why have you rejected me?
You seem far from saving me,
far from the words of my groaning." (Ps. 22:1)
"God, be merciful to me." (Ps. 51:1a)
"God, be merciful to me because people are chasing me;
the battle has pressed me all day long." (Ps. 56:1)

Things have not really changed in 3,000 years. The same reason David begins each of these psalms in agony is the same reason I wake up some days in utter despair. I look around me, and see no hope for the future. This same fear affects us all. Whether we dwell in it, sinking into depressions that destroy our lives, or deny it, living life to unsafe extremes, pushing away our confrontation with fear, it affects everybody.
So what do we do about it?
Lucky for us, David wasn't accustomed to writing single-verse psalms. What begins as a doldrum dirge ends as exalting praises.

"When I am afraid,
I will trust you.
I praise God for his word.
I trust God, so I am not afraid." (Ps. 56:3-4a)

So we've already established a condition: fear. Looking at this text, what course of action does David follow with his fear?

"When I am afraid, I will trust you."

So what, that's it? How am I supposed to do that?
Well, luckily, it's in the very next verse:

"I praise God for his word."

Oh, how I long to become "foolish" enough to experience the wisdom and perfection in that phrase. I praise God for his word. His word in the flesh is Christ. He who alone is worthy of our adoration. And on He alone have our iniquities, our fears, been laid.
As one praises, so one will trust.

"I trust God, so I am not afraid."

This companionship between praise and trust is inevitable, and it takes practice. No sooner do I finish praising Christ than a new circumstance surrounds me, and I again become afraid. But the more I'm able to train my mind for praise, "so I will walk with God in light among the living." (v. 13)

I will offer a sacrifice... (Ps 54:6)

2005-06-04T12:45:00.000-05:00

Psalm 54 describes the life that is wholly devoted to God, in itself also bringing a prophecy of Christ. Though "strangers turn against me, and cruel men want to kill me," (v. 3) "the Lord will support me." (v. 4) Often we have this idea that if I devote my life to the Lord, nothing bad will ever happen in our lives. Then at the slightest hint of trouble, we "gnaw our tongues [in] pain and...curse the God of heaven," (Rev. 16:10-11). Unfortunately, this is simply not the case. Even a brief skimming of the gospels will show that the life of Jesus was full of strife and persecution. He was forced from his hometown and almost thrown over a cliff (Luke 4:28-30), He was accused of being possessed (Mark 3:22), He was beaten and spat upon (Matt. 26:67), He was mocked, being call gluttonous and a drunk (Luke 7:34), and many other horrible things. We are even told, as His followers, to expect the same treatment (Matt. 24:9).
As these terrible things continue to affect us, offering our broken spirit as a sacrifice (Ps. 51:17) is the way God is allowed to "save [us] from all...troubles," (v. 7). In this way, because we are in Christ, judgment will pass over us and we will "see [our] enemies defeated." (v. 7)

i've been painted...

2005-03-12T12:01:00.000-06:00

i had the privilege of walking home from work last night. i got off at 6:45, and it didn't take long for me to notice the beauty of the evening. on the western horizon was a bright orange band as the sun drifted off to sleep, and on the eastern horizon was a deep stripe of indigo signaling the fast approaching night. the rest of the sky fell in line somewhere between these two personalities, and i, in the middle, felt as though i had stumbled my way onto an artist's canvas, simply the stranger on the side of the road caught between the past and future of the artist's memory and the onlooker's imagination.

who's got the sheets?

2005-03-07T21:36:00.000-06:00

this exchange was forced upon me, so i now force it upon you...

-------

store manager: "who's got the sheets?"
assistant manager: "i did this morning, but i feel better now..."

spiritual perseverance

2005-02-22T21:05:00.000-06:00

my bible study today was on "the discipline of spiritual perseverance". in it, the author defines perseverance as "...a call...to work deliberately, knowing with certainty that God will never be defeated." i remember as a kid dreaming of having an occupation such as baseball player, master composer, or some other such fan-based profession. in my dreams, i always focused on the future, this awesome destination that i had magically arrived at, with no concept of discipline or perseverance. (this isn't to say that these professions are not dream-worthy or honorable, but that as a child i did not have the mental aptitude to consider what discipline was necessary for such positions.)
in my life current, i'm finding that the hardest, yet most fulfilling application of my time is to seek after God's spirit. in this mindset, i'm able to see the Purpose in my otherwise ordinary existance. i find also that the seeming ordinary existances of my contemporaries (friends, family, coworkers) actually play an integral part of my sanctification, that is, being set apart as holy for God's will. living with two hard-working, rest-needing females provides innumerable opportunities to love others above myself (the frequency with which i take advantage of these opportunities varies, however).
i guess the point i'm thinking of is one we've all heard before, but when one suffer's through one's own experiences to reach it, the point becomes personal.
i don't have to be famous, influential, or a big moneymaker to be holy and useful to the Lord. perhaps a twenty-year-old, blue-collar college student with long hair is exactly what i need to be right now. tomorrow my world may turn upside-down, but God will never be defeated.

bank statement is in...

2005-02-18T09:32:00.000-06:00

it is refreshing to know that i serve the Lord of all creation...

...this includes my checking account

vigurally speaking

2005-02-10T10:20:00.000-06:00

vigural actually refers to what is commonly known as a "backslash". there is no such thing as a backslash or frontslash. the correct terms are "slash" and "vigural".

you may now applaud.

horrible, yet amusing

2005-02-10T01:01:00.000-06:00

oh my.
sometimes i feel sorry for my customers.
like today.
an elderly gentlemen was walking down the laptop aisle with that look on his face.

yes, the look.

it is the look a customer wears when they are utterly lost.
and needy.

and he was looking at me.

anyway, this particular fellow was holding in one hand a component that had obviously been extracted from the guts of his computer. it looked like something that would go into a PCI slot. in his other hand was a notepad. seeing as we made eye contact, i could not bring myself to continue walking, so i slowed, turned fully towards him, and spoke:

"how may i help..."

"i need this," he says, cutting me off and shaking the mechanical item. i see what looks like a phone symbol etched into the metal, suggesting that it is an internal dial-up modem.

i pause. "what is it?" i ask.

without responding, he holds forward the notepad. i lean over and look at the writing. i read the words "HP Pavilion" followed by numbers and letters. it means nothing.

"what is this?" i ask.

"my information," he says, as if that should make all perfectly clear.

i pause again. obviously, i'm missing something. "what can i help you with, sir?"

"i need this!" he says emphatically, pressing it into my hand.

i look at him, and i hand it back. "well, here it is," i say.

this time, he pauses. "well, this doesn't do me a damn bit of good!"

i pause. "would you like me to get you a new one?" i ask, because he is obviously not going to do anything but act ignorant and demand things.

"yes," comes the irritated response.

i turn and lead him to aisle five, where we carry internal dial-up modems. when we get there, i try for a little more information. "what kind of internet do you have, sir?" (this fact is important because there are separate internal modems depending if one has broadband or dial-up internet.)

he looks at me as if i've just sprouted wings. "well, i don't know a damn thing about the internet!"

i pause again. "well sir, i don't know anything about your internet either."
"well, i just need a new one of these," he says, shaking it again.

finally. all i wanted was for him to ask a question, not demand like a baby. i reach down and grab an internal dial-up modem card on sale for $19.99.

"here you go," i say, handing it to him.

he looks it over for a second, mumbling. finally, he says "this'll fix my problem?"

"once it's installed, yes," i say.

he looks it over again, comparing it with the piece in his hand. "well, they look the same..."

at this point, i can see that anything more out of my mouth, and i'm bound to get myself in trouble, so i wait patiently for a few moments before asking him if i can be of further assistance. he relieves me and i walk away.

and now i have a dilemma in my mind.
on the one hand i understand that the vast majority of our customer base have zero to only rudimentary knowledge of technology, but because they use these machines, inevitably, they require a product, either a consummable or permanent hardware, and they are forced to venture out into the retail jungle, admit their ignorance, and trust us to lead them to what they need.
from my end, i work with these products everyday, and though i began my job not knowing the difference between ink and toner, i've slowly increased my comfort zone to the point that i can feel my way around with a sizable chunk of our technology customers. however, highly technical questions leave me scrambling for a CST (customer sales - technology).
the dilemma enters when a customer comes in with a problem and seems to not understand why i don't instantly know what he or she needs without any information or backstory.
this prompts me to act like a jackass, as illustrated in the previous story.
now, i can go and tell the story to my co-workers who will laugh, shake their head, and then tell me one of their stories, in which case i'll laugh, shake my head, and we'll lament over our jobs, acting as if we're selling nuclear technology to apes.
what i don't like is when i feel resentment towards a customer.
resentment simply because they don't know.
and they're frustrated. not at me, i know (at least, not directly). but when it comes down to it, they've got a problem and we fix it. that's my job. it doesn't hinge on how much they know, how nice they are, how prepared they are. my job is to help customers.
i can't do that if i breed resentment.

(i've got more on this subject, but the clock is passing midnight and i've got class at eight in the morning, so i'm off to bed)

this is cool...

2005-02-08T09:50:00.000-06:00

check out this cool passage:

---

30 Then Moses said to the Israelites, "Look, the LORD has chosen Bezalel son of Uri the son of Hur, from the tribe of Judah.
31 The LORD has filled Bezalel with the Spirit of God and has given him the skill, ability, and knowledge to do all kinds of work.

--Exodus 35:30-31, New Century Version

---

ha, that's cool.
think about that for a second.

some obscure dude from a group of 603,550 traveling Israelites (Lev. 1:46) was called to do the work of the LORD. the passage goes on to describe all kinds of metalworking that Bezalel (i'm going to call him "B") is proficient in. but proficiency comes through discipline.
now i'm sure at some point, B was a kid who liked to play ancient egyptian video games instead of helping his dad in the shop.

"but dad," (you've got to insert a whiny seven-year old's voice in this, not hard to do if you work in retail) "working with metal is boring. besides, i helped you yesterday. i wanna go play with my friends today."

"but son," (this is Uri talking) "you may be called by the LORD someday to do His work. by helping me everyday you'll become disciplined so you may help yourself and others in the future with your skill."

"well, OK. if it's for the LORD, i'll help you."

(i'm sure the conversation didn't go down exactly like this, but you get the point)

imagine. all the annoying things in life, chores, bills, work, school, all these are used by the LORD to call you to work just when he needs you. an observation i've made in life is that switching gears from what you want to what you need in a crises often does not go well. two seemingly unrelated skills will often come together in a new way in new situations that were not anticipated.

i guess another way to put it is that the LORD did not turn a lazy, partying Israelite into a disciplined metalworker overnight. no, long before, while Israel was still in bondage, he guided the life of B to a point where he would use him many years in the future to build the Ark of the Covenant.
in personal terms, this may mean that the skills and discipline i develop helping the people of the Big Country purchase their office supplies or by cooking fish at the local Long John Silver's will one day be called upon to serve the LORD. like Bezalel, i do not know when that day will be, but i wish to be ready when it comes.

done with the course

2005-02-08T09:29:00.000-06:00

having now completed my online defensive driving course, here's a few more facts that i found interesting.
also, should you be in need of taking a defensive driving course in the coming year, give me a holler and i'll send a $5 coupon to use ASenseofHumorDriving.com.

----

It takes 1/10 th of a second to blink your eye. When you are driving at 60 mph, your vehicle is traveling forward 8.8 feet every 1/10 th of a second.
That means, if a tailgater is following one half of a car length (approximately 8.8 feet) behind your vehicle at 60 mph, all that separates the two of you is...the blink of an eye!

----

if you attach numerical value to the letters in "attitude", it adds up to 100!
A T T I T U D E = 100%
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

cool!

----

Q. With just 1/12th of an inch of water on the roadway, each of your tires has to displace what amount of water per second?
A. 1 gallon

----

Drive the speed limit. Lead-footing at 75 mph, when the posted speed limit is 60 mph, will cut your fuel economy by more than 10 percent. At a $1.70 per gallon, each 5 mph you drive over 60 mph (the optimum speed for highway fuel efficiency) is costing you 10 cents more per gallon of gasoline. If you drive at 75 mph, in a 60 mph zone, you are paying 30 cents more per gallon!

----

The tire pressure of commercial trucks is higher than the tire pressure of passenger vehicles. The truck’s tires themselves are also much larger. When a blowout occurs, this combination of greater tire pressure and larger tire size can create large high velocity tire fragments capable of penetrating your windshield.

----

Each year, people toss an estimated 140 million cigarette butts onto Texas roadways. Picking up this roadside trash and putting out the grass fires, costs Texas taxpayers over $30 million dollars each year.

What is thoughtlessly done in a split second, also takes twenty-five years to undo. That’s because it takes twenty-five years for a single filtered cigarette butt to fully biodegrade.

----

There are two pips in a beaut, four beauts in a doozie, eight doozies in a lulu, and sixteen lulus in a humdinger.

that means that a humdinger has 1024 pips....

----

An analysis of federal crash data has discovered that when rear seat passengers are not wearing a seat belt, they triple their own odds of dying in a head on collision and double the odds that the driver will also be killed.
By not being restrained, the rear seat passenger becomes a back seat bullet - a deadly weapon sitting in the back seat. Researchers calculate that if 95 percent of all rear seat passengers buckled up, they could save 800 lives and eliminate 65,000 injuries each year.

that means if you ride in my car, you're buckling up.

----

within two minutes of consuming an alcoholic drink, the tissues in your brain have already absorbed that amount of alcoholic content

----

here's to ASenseofHumorDriving.com for making my six hour course a bit less mind-numbing.

Driving Facts

2005-02-06T17:07:00.000-06:00

i have just completed the first hour of an online defensive driving course i am taking for a wreck i caused back in october. here are a few interesting facts i've copied and pasted while taking the course. i now bring them to you in a required fifteen minute break:

----

The Top Five Moving Violations That Cause Crashes in Texas are:

5 - Tailgating
4 - DWI
3 - Disregard for a Stop and Go Signal
2 - Failure to Yield the Right-of-Way (that's mine...)
1 - Driving At An Unsafe Speed

----

here's a fact i was not aware of:

You may legally make a left turn on red under the following conditions:

>> You come to a complete stop
>> You are on a one-way street and are turning onto a one-way street
>> There is no conflicting traffic

----

this one confirms what i'd always heard as rumor, but have never bothered to research:

Q. If a police car (with lights and siren), a fire truck (with lights and siren), an ambulance (with lights and siren) and a postal vehicle, all arrive at a four-way stop intersection at the same time, who has the right-of-way?
A. Because they are conducting official United States business, under federal law, the postal vehicle has the right-of-way.

----

now, i shall return to the course...

the glory of the LORD

2005-02-06T07:09:00.000-06:00

if the Lord were to show me His full glory, my head would explode.

seriously.

---

18 And he [Moses] said, "Please, show me Your glory."
19 Then He said, "I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."
20 But He said, "You cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me, and live."
21 And the LORD said, "Here is a place by Me, and you shall stand on the rock.
22 So it shall be, while My glory passes by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock, and will cover you with My hand while I pass by.
23 Then I will take away My hand, and you shall see My back; but My face shall not be seen."

--Exodus 33:18-23, New King James Version // BibleGateway.com

---

ahhh, that passage gives me chills.

but how many times am i aware of the grace and glory of God as He is presenting it to me? yes, i am often aware of his presence.

driving along loop 322 in abilene, texas, on my way to cisco junior college at 7:30 in the morning, just as the sun's fingertips are finding their way over the horizon, and i look down at the low places and see wisps of fog, hovering over the ground as if unwilling to surrender the day.

taking samantha (my mom's dog) out on that last potty break before bed to the park, to feel the crisp winter air, feeling total silence except for the occasional car on the nearby highway. i look up to see the myriad stars rejoice at His majesty.

it is amazing how in times of my life i have closed my eyes and wondered why i could not see the glory of the LORD. but when we approach Him, saying "show me your glory," He places us in the cleft of the rock (Jesus), and covers us with His hand as He passes by. then we see what has happened and praise God saying, "surely this is the work of the LORD."

but we are not able to see His face.

new beginnings abound

2005-02-04T17:15:00.000-06:00

argh, i be new to this blogging malarkey. gimme a few minutes to get meself situated...